Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
