I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
