The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
