Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We are two peas in an std pod
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I have so many feelings about this burrito
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
