Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
