At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
