hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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