My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
