Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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