Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
