NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
