I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
