Having a random hookup so left but love u
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
