i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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