people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I don't deserve a penis
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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