I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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