is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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