I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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