i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She's JV to your varsity
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
