arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It's shark week go big or go home
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
