Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
