Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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