Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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