it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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