Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
