Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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