Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
