we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
