Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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