This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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