Is it normal to miss your booty call?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
