You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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