garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize