you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
