I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize