I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Randomize
