This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
