I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
