People in love make me want to vomit
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
third nipple confirmed
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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