Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
