You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
