she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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