I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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