dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize