You really coming over, don't trick.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We had sex on a dog bed..
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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