She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
