ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize