D3 body, D1 cock
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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