I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
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