I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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