So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
