I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You're earring is so big in my mouth
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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