bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
