I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
