There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize