Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
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