I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
