Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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