OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
