I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
