Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
another moral hangover. fuck.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
