I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he thought i was a dude.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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