am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
