Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
