I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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